Premier Predictions (Week 23)

No games this weekend due to the cup, but a full list next week.
Man City, Blackburn, Wigan and Wolves have the weekend off.

Tuesday
Swansea v Chelsea
Tottenham v Wigan
Wolves v Liverpool
Everton v Man City
Man Utd v Stoke

Wednesday
Aston Villa v QPR
Blackburn v Newcastle
Bolton v Arsenal
Fulham v West Brom
Sunderland v Norwich

Charity

After trying to give a bit of praise to Chelsea's Torres last week and getting shot down I thought I'd revert to type :)
Saw this on the DA and it made me laugh.

Worrying

As we kick off against Forest today in a game we really should win, we only need a point to go top and every other time this season we've been in this position we have blown it.
Southampton don't play till Monday so I'm sitting here figers crossed.

Torres

With my prediction history this could be way off? but watching Chelsea recently it's obvious that Fernando Torres is finally hitting some form.
The only reason I'm glad the Hammers aren't in the Prem this year is I feel he's going to explode against someone soon and by the end of season the jokes will be over.
Of course he could still be lumped in with with Andy Carroll and David Luiz as why people shouldn't spend money in January?

Premier Predictions (Week 22)

Saturday and Sunday games this week, top of the table clashes are on Sunday.

Norwich v Chelsea
Everton v Blackburn
Fulham v Newcastle
QPR v Wigan
Stoke v West Brom
Sunderland v Swansea
Wolves v Aston Villa
Bolton v Liverpool

Man City v Tottenham
Arsenal v Man Utd

West Ham

Yes of course I'm still a West Ham nut and always will be, but recently there hasn't been too much to get excited about, we're still doing alright staying second and Fat Sam's tactics are working we are hard to beat but not exactly setting the division alight. We haven't scored more than one in a game since November and those 4 goal wins we kept getting early in the season seem a long while ago now.
Most of the January transfer targets we are being linked with now I find myself thinking "who??"
The gap between Premier league and Championship is bigger than it's ever been financially although I believe that there are probably about 8 teams in the championship who are better than the likes of Bolton, Wolves, Wigan, QPR etc but the lack of cash is holding them back.
So hopefully we can get back even if it's a season of 1-0 wins and we can get a few better players next season.

Mohsni

A few weeks back it looked like Bilel Mohsni had played his last game for Southend after yet another sending off probably cost the club a trip to Liverpool in the FA cup, maybe not such a bad thing as if the racist who abused the Oldham player had done it to Mohsni he would almost certainly have jumped in the crowd and knocked his teeth out?
But after several weeks of uncertainty they forgave him, probably because title rivals Crawley inquired about signing him which would have been a disaster.
Anyway back in the squad this week he managed to drop a fridge on his toe midweek but assured Sturrock he would be OK, and with 15 minutes to go away at Northampton with the score 2-2 his chance came and he didn't disappoint .. Final score 5-2 to Southend and Mohsni scores 2 great headers :)
Hopefully he can keep his temper under control and lead Southend to promotion because despite his many faults he inspires the crowd.

Nostalgia - The Seventies

Terraces, Aggro, Tension, Violence all things the "modern" football fan seems to hate, but as a teenager it was what we lived for.
Yes it got really hairy at times but what a buzz and the next day I would sit and have Sunday lunch with my Mum and Dad, watch the Big Match on ITV and then go and play football up the park with my mates.
At that age I wasn't in to bashing grannies, burglary, doing drugs, hanging around on street corners all night, but we are considered to be the scum of history?

I'm definitely becoming a boring old fart :)

Bye Colin

So Wanker Warnock has been shown the door :)
Not sure if I can start liking QPR again as Fernandes seems to want to buy all our players but so glad Warnock is gone, although Chelsea might be looking for a new manager soon and he has been linked with that one hehe :)
I guess my start of season prediction that QPR would get relegated is under pressure now as surely anyone could do a better job (except Bruce of course).

We're Concentrating On The League

:(
Another year gone and a late goal means we only have the league to look forward too, I guess Fat Sam won't be too upset as he's shown the cup disrespect for most of his managerial career but it still pisses me off :(

Anyway here's the 4th round draw -

Brighton or Wrexham v Newcastle
Sunderland v Middlesbrough
Dagenham v Southampton
Hull City v Crawley
MK Dons or QPR v Chelsea
West Brom v Norwich
Blackpool v Sheffield Wednesday
Arsenal or Leeds v Aston Villa
Stevenage v Notts County
Watford v Tottenham
Liverpool v Manchester United
Derby v Stoke City
Everton v Fulham
Macclesfield or Bolton v Swansea
Sheffield United v Birmingham or Wolves
Nottingham Forest or Leicester v Swindon

Liverpool v Man Utd is tasty, for many reasons :)
Chelsea go to Stadium MK or possibly QPR if there is a shock result.

Hoyfoy

Will Sir Chris Hoy be getting more abuse on Twitter today? or have City fans got the brains to realise it was Chris Foy unlike the Spuds fans after his last crap game?
The Kompany sending off was the turning point in the match, and yes it was a 2 footed tackle but he didn't make any contact with Nanny so in my opinion it shouldn't have even been a booking.
But some of his decisions after that were even worse, both teams were denied clear penalties the Kolarov foul on Valencia was probably as clear cut as you'll ever see, the booking for Wellbeck was an attempt to pacify the City fans and yet he kept his cards in his pocket for 2 worse fouls by Carrick?
Paul Scholes came out of retirement but maybe should have stayed there.
Anyway it was an enjoyable game despite Foy's attempts to ruin it.

Premier Predictions (Week 21)

Here's next weeks games a little early because there is one extra game on Wednesday, the re-arranged Tottenham Everton game postponed during the riots last year.
I suppose the Man city game could be changed if there is a draw tomorrow and a replay would be that week, although on current form that's unlikely.

Wednesday 11th Jan
Tottenham v Everton

Saturday, 14th Jan
Aston Villa v Everton
Blackburn v Fulham
Chelsea v Sunderland
Liverpool v Stoke
Man Utd v Bolton
Tottenham v Wolves
West Brom v Norwich

Sunday 15th Jan
Newcastle v QPR
Swansea v Arsenal

Monday 16th Jan
Wigan v Man City

Latest Rumours

The Corluka one might still be alive, even a possibility we might sign him permanent? which is a good thing as he won't come with the "screw West Ham" clause that Keane and Bentley had.
Still can't believe we are thinking of signing Kebe from Reading, has allardyce not seen our match with Reading?
The Kevin Davies rumour is probably just because of the Bolton connection, strangely I have wanted us to sign him for a number of years but now I'm not so sure?

Please Sam can we have Dempsey and Samba :)

Premier Predictions

One game next week on Wednesday, so I'll lump that in with the following weekends games and post them over the weekend.
FA Cup this weekend :)

More Jokes

The Robin Van Persie tea tray is selling well in the Arsenal club shop.
Apparently it can carry 10 mugs.

Breaking News: The FA have handed Andy Caroll an eight-game run in the Liverpool first team - The club are set to appeal.

John Terry is delighted with yesterday's win at Wolves.
He's always liked the Black Country, it contains two of his favourite syllables.

Paris St Germain are hopeful to land Carlos Tevez by offering him a lucrative deal and the chance to play a lot closer to his home, the Notre Dame Cathedral.

Plastic surgeons have revealed that one of the faulty, expensive French breast implants imported to the UK is actually a faulty, expensive Spanish tit imported to Chelsea.



That will probably get me into trouble!!

Transfer Rumours

Today's rumours seem to be that we are going to sign yet another Spud reject Vedrun Corluka on loan, and possibly Doncaster's Billy Sharp.

Corluka looked a good player when at Man City but seems to have disappeared since signing for Tottenham? if he can still show the form of old he could be a good signing but the fact he is coming from Tottenham always makes me suspicious.
Also I have one bigger reason to hate him, a few years back when he was at City they were playing a midweek game which was the last match of the month, I was playing Telegraph fantasy football and stood 2nd in the monthly points table just a few points behind the leader, I thought I'd pulled the masterstroke by putting Stephen Ireland into my team before kick off who went on to score the only goal of the game,
also I had 3 City defenders including Corluka. When I checked the table the next day I found I had lost by one point, due to Corluka picking up an 88th minute booking costing me 2 points :(
The winner got £1000, finishing 2nd I got £50 so Corluka cost me £950 .... bastard.

Billy Sharp looks a good striker but I guess we will miss out as we do with most players we try to sign, maybe we could make a cheeky offer for his former Scunthorpe team mate Gary Hooper who is doing the business at Celtic :)
Incidentally the Barnsley scum who gave Sharp the abuse about his son on Monday deserve a good kicking :(

Turning Point?

A nerve wracking end, but a 1-0 win over Coventry got the job done :)
But a quick look at the other results shows how important it could be? Southampton hammered by Brighton and their top scorer Ricky Lambert sent off :)
Middlesbrough smashed 3-0 by Blackpool, Hull lost at home and only Cardiff manage a win by beating challengers Reading so all in all a really good day :)

New Year, New Jokes

Best ones I've heard so far :)

Breaking News: Robin Van Persie out for 2 months with a back injury due to carrying the full Arsenal team.

More breaking News: Blackburn manager Steve Kean sends message of support to Alex Ferguson.

1st January 2012 00:00:01
and Emile Heskey has already matched his goal tally for 2011.

Police are questioning Alex Ferguson about allegations that he attempted to strangle a fat woman yesterday.

I was in the pub last night, talking to this fella about New Years resolutions. He looked visibly upset as he told me about how he failed the five goals he had set himself last year.
I put my arm around him and said "Never mind Fernando, there's always 2012"

Now is not the time to poke fun at Russell Brand, he's suffered a terrible tragedy and he should be left alone to suffer in silence, he's probably feeling embarrassed and ashamed .... I mean, after all, losing to Derby County.

More breaking News: Liverpool players to wear one-finger gloves in support of Luis Suarez.

I've got a trial soon at Man United to see if I'm good enough for Alex Ferguson .... It's the biggest day in any young referee's career.

Woman goes to the doctors and says "everytime I pull my knickers down, my fanny keeps whispering City are going to win the league this year" Doctor says, don't worry about it love, there's a load of cunts in merseyside been saying the same thing about liverpool for the last 21 years.


----- Edit ------

In honour of all those people that keep posting comments on this topic, here are a few jokes which should be right up your street :)

Alan Pardew has told his Newcastle United players to forget all about the club's new sponsorship deal with Wonga.com.
He's told them to just get on the pitch and give it 4235%.

To celebrate their new sponsor of Wonga, Newcastle united are to have special offers on drinks at the next home game £2 a beer before the game £8 at half time and £6000 at full time.

Newcastle United are reported to have struck an £8m shirt sponsorship deal with Wonga.
However, they will have to pay back £20m a month later.