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Breaking News: Robin Van Persie out for 2 months with a back injury due to carrying the full Arsenal team.
More breaking News: Blackburn manager Steve Kean sends message of support to Alex Ferguson.
1st January 2012 00:00:01
and Emile Heskey has already matched his goal tally for 2011.
Police are questioning Alex Ferguson about allegations that he attempted to strangle a fat woman yesterday.
I was in the pub last night, talking to this fella about New Years resolutions. He looked visibly upset as he told me about how he failed the five goals he had set himself last year.
I put my arm around him and said "Never mind Fernando, there's always 2012"
Now is not the time to poke fun at Russell Brand, he's suffered a terrible tragedy and he should be left alone to suffer in silence, he's probably feeling embarrassed and ashamed .... I mean, after all, losing to Derby County.
More breaking News: Liverpool players to wear one-finger gloves in support of Luis Suarez.
I've got a trial soon at Man United to see if I'm good enough for Alex Ferguson .... It's the biggest day in any young referee's career.
Woman goes to the doctors and says "everytime I pull my knickers down, my fanny keeps whispering City are going to win the league this year" Doctor says, don't worry about it love, there's a load of cunts in merseyside been saying the same thing about liverpool for the last 21 years.
----- Edit ------
In honour of all those people that keep posting comments on this topic, here are a few jokes which should be right up your street :)
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