Only Joking

Best of the footie jokes doing the rounds

After leaving home to go and play for Spurs, Gareth Bale moved into an apartment block in London, You would think with all the money he earns he'd live somewhere nice but, according to Martin Atkinson "it's a dive".

Newcastle have been asked to find a new shirt sponsor as Virgin don't want to be associated with a team that has been well and truly f***ed.

What time do Aston Villa kick off?
Every 10 minutes

The last 3 Sports Personality of the Years have been won by people who sit down for a living,
Michael Owen is already favourite for 2013.

... and the Fergie / RVP ones

It's a good job that Cameron Jerome didn't score his wonder goal against Man Utd.
Sir Alex Ferguson would have had him arrested for attempted murder.

98 years ago, the Germans and British troops brought a temporary ceasefire to the Great War and had a game of football out in no-man's land.
The fighting resumed when somebody was killed after being hit on the head with the football.

I can't wait to play Footballers Cluedo,
I bet it was Ashley Williams in The Liberty Stadium with The Ball.

Alex Ferguson says that Robin Van Persie could have been killed when Ashley Williams kicked the ball at his head.
Just like the time a fan head butted Eric Cantona's foot.

Sir Alex Ferguson defended his decision to leave Van Persie on the bench for today's match in the rain claiming "The boy could have drowned".