A Non Football Rant

Finally back on the net after 2 weeks of being offline :)
Partly my fault as I forgot to pay my Virgin bill and they cut me off in the early hours of Sunday the 13th, I paid them over the phone on Monday the 14th and was told it might take 24 hours to be reconnected (I know they can do it instantly but I accepted this).
By Wednesday I'm still not back on so I rang them back (the only number it lets you dial when you're cut off) and was told there was no reference of my payment? I pointed out that I had received a payment number which you only get if the transaction went through but they just told me to contact my bank which I couldn't do as they had cut my phone off :(
Anyway I get a statement that night from the bank and it shows that I had paid the full amount to Virgin Media, I ring them back but just get the "you haven't paid" line again.
I contact them again last Monday and argue the toss with various Indian call centre people (the first 2 cut me off despite the fact I have been reasonably civilised and not resorted to the full on expletive laden rant that I really want to use), eventually I am given a number for the credit department who have been told about my problem, I finally manage to get through to them last Thursday and it turns out that yes I had paid but my payment had been charged to someone else's account? meaning that I had paid another bill, they were very apologetic and instantly restored my phone and telly options but wouldn't give me the next months bill free which I asked for!!
I tried my internet and .... nothing, so I thought it might take a few hours for that but by Friday night it still wasn't on so it was back to the phone.
According to the "expert" at Virgin afyer going through all the idiot tests like "is your modem plugged in" there was a fault in the area connection down the road and an engineer would have to come and reset the box, but not until today :(
He turned up a few hours ago checked my modem and said it had developed a fault and fitted a new one and ... tada!! here we are :)
He did point out that I shouldn't listen to the call centre experts as they usually don't know what they are talking about :)
Rant over, back to footie :)

I've missed a lot while being offline with the added problem of my car radio also going wrong and the fact I never buy newspapers so I've got a bit of catching up to do.
Happy that Nolan signed for the Hammers, sad that Demba Ba went the other way.
Man U seem to restocking their English players, and the U-21's failed in the Euro championships, Chelsea have a new expensive unknown manager and Southend have signed Millwall's Southend based player Neil Harris and that's about all I know at the moment :)
Back soon after catching up with all the gossip :)

How Much?

Well some people who have read a few bits from this blog might think "he knows nothing about football" and after today's transfer dealings maybe they are right :)
It looks like £37 million pounds has been spent on these two in the picture and to be honest I wouldn't recognise either of them, yes I have heard their names Jordan Henderson the winger from Sunderland and Phil Jones the Blackburn defender but obviously I am not watching enough football to have been impressed by either.
Maybe they are the future of the England team, but I really haven't seen anything yet to set them apart from a whole host of others but with England in mind I hope I'm wrong.
For the record -
Phil Jones (19 Years Old) - Blackburn 39 Apps 0 Goals, England U21 5 Apps 0 Goals
Jordan Henderson (20 Years Old) - Sunderland 79 Apps 5 Goals, England U21 6 Apps 6 Goals, England 1 App 0 Goals

FIFA

Overheard in Zurich last December ...
"I've just bought FIFA "
"What FIFA 11 for Playstation or X-Box?"
"No, FIFA 22 ... it's great being the President of Qatar"

Chelsea - Contractual Obligation Album

A few months ago still feeling confident about the Hammers staying up I said to Longy "if West Ham get relegated I'll post a collection of Chelsea songs", well I never thought I would have to but .... :(
Anyway Longy has posted several good Hammer videos so fair's fair here are the tunes?, also consider it your prize for beating me in the predictions comp :)

I guess any Blues fan will have most of these but a bets a bet.
At least while looking for these in the archives I've found a bundle of old footie songs from many teams so I will eventually start posting some compilations.

There are a couple of reasonable songs here! ... no really :)

Big Sam

So within hours of Big Sam Allardyce finally agreeing to be the new Hammers manager news comes through that Malaysian Lotus boss Tony Fernandes is back in the running to buy the club.
I imagine Allardyce must be wondering if this will be the third time in 3 years that he'll be booted out by new owners?
As soon as Fat boy Ashley took over Newcastle Allardyce was on his way, and after 2 reasonable seasons at Blackburn the new Indian owners took an instant dislike to him and he's been on the dole ever since, now he gets himself a new job and it's a possibility that it could all happen again.

None of my Hammer supporting mates seemed over the moon about the news of Sam's appointment but we all seem to be saying the same things "at least it's not Dave Jones" and "he'll probably tighten up our defence" so reserved judgement on this one :)
I think he's a good manager and should be able to get us back in the Premier league, but not sure if he's ever going to be better than a mid table obscurity type, and his cup record is terrible, usually fielding weakened sides which won't please us cup run loving Hammers fans!!

A Bunch Of ?

These four have two things in common?

That's right they are all involved in football, and secondly they are all crooks ..
Garth's only crime is that he's as dull as ditchwater and able to make the most exciting games sound boring, but as far as I know he's never taken a bung.
The rest are all members of FIFA which seems to be run on bribes and backhanders?

Ready For Next Season

Here are the final outcomes of season 2010-11.

Premier League
Champions - Manchester United
Champions League Qualifiers - Chelsea, Manchester City, Arsenal
Europa League Qualifiers - Tottenham Hotspuds, Birmingham City, Stoke City, Fulham
Relegated - Birmingham City, Blackpool, West Ham United

Championship
Champions - Queens Park Rangers
Promoted - Norwich City, Swansea City
Relegated - Preston North End, Sheffield United, Scunthorpe

League One
Champions - Brighton And Hove Albion
Promoted - Southampton, Peterborough Town
Relegated - Dagenham And Redbridge, Bristol Rovers, Plymouth Argyle, Swindon Town

League Two
Champions - Chesterfield
Promoted - Bury, Wycombe Wanderers, Stevenage
Relegated - Lincoln City, Stockport County

Conference
Champions - Crawley Town
Promoted - AFC Wimbledon
Relegated - Southport, Altrincham, Eastbourne, Histon

Blogger??

For some reason I can sign in and create, edit and post new stuff but it won't let me comment on my own posts?
As soon as I go to the comments page I'm signed out and I can't even post as an anonymous user, if I sign in at that point it takes me back to the main post and if I try to comment it's the same thing all over again .... I suppose I'll sort it out eventually?

Just found this in the "known problems" section of Blogger help -
"We're investigating an issue which is preventing login and comment posting for some users, and hope to have a fix released shortly.
Thanks for your patience in the meantime. — latest update on Tuesday, May 24, 2011"

Obviously "shortly" means sometime in the next few weeks :(

Sorted

So the last promotion spot for next season has been sorted, Swansea are back in the big time for the first time in nearly 30 years and the first Welsh team ever in the Premiership.
Although Swansea have looked very good when I've seen them they must be favourites for relegation already as I don't think they have the finances to compete next season, their current team is a collection of home growns, Spaniards from the Martinez days and League and Prem cast-offs who seemed to gel together pretty well.
Ex Chelsea striker Scott Sinclair scored a hat-trick today and seems to have finally found a home after being on loan for most of his career, it'll be nice to see former Southend star Mark Gower finally make the Premiership although he's nearing the end of his career along with ex Hammer Leon Britton.

... At least Liverpool get to play abroad next season ... :)

Champions League Final

Barcelona won .... here's the best of the jokes!!

At least Ryan Giggs managed to remain anonymous for 90 minutes last night.

My wife said to me this morning, "Man U were shit last night"
I was really upset 5 minutes is a personal best for me?

Mrs Giggs wants to know if anyone can vouch for the whereabouts of her husband, between the hours of 7.45 and 9.45pm last night.

Allardyce

The latest favourite for the Hammers hot seat is now Sam Allardyce.
Although I think big Sam is a good manager I'm not sure he fits with the West Ham style, but if he is the man and we go through next season with a trail of 1-0 wins and get promotion maybe we won't mind :)
Big Sam has been unfairly treated at his last two posts so I have sympathy for him, he really wasn't given a chance at Newcastle and I assume he just didn't get on with the Indian chicken farmers at Blackburn.
I don't think it's a done deal yet but he is a better choice than recent favourites Jones and Warnock, although I'd still prefer O'Neill.

Getting Worried

I have heard that the West Ham owners have made Dave Jones their preferred choice, although they have today denied making any approach.
This guy seems to have less charisma than Avram Grant so I'm not sure how he's going to inspire anyone? His managerial record is nothing to write home about either, yes he took Wolves up after spending a lot of money then took them straight down again and 4 years of promise at Cardiff have seen them blow out every year.
There are dozens of better candidates out there (is he cheap?), and if the story that Ancelotti would consider the job is true then he must be a better option than Jones?
We really need someone to bring through some of the young talent without fiddling with them too much.

High Brow Jokes

Obvious joke of the week.

Eyebrows were raised over the sacking of Carlo Ancelotti.

Best Chelsea joke of the season -

A Man walks up to the scouse salesperson - "I would like to return an item I brought from you several months ago, I have the receipt and all the paperwork"
- "Sir, we have a no return policy, I'm sorry I can't help you"
- "But I've spent way too much on it, it never functions, I've moved it everywhere, it doesn't fit in with anything else, it's waste of time and space, you misled me and overcharged me for it!!"
- "For the last time Mr Ancelotti ...... "

End Of Season Report

Well at least I got one prediction right this season and sadly it means it's goodbye to Blackpool and Birmingham who join my Hammers in the Championship (Division 2) next season :(
A few twists and turns at the end of the day, I was actually sitting in a boozer/restaraunt while most of this was going on and could just see a telly in the distance but heard the big cheer when Blackpool took the lead at Old Trafford, as I left Man U had just gone 3-2 up so it was looking like that was it for Blackpool.
As I turned on the radio in the car Birmingham equalised against Tottenham and Wigan scored at Stoke meaning Wolves were now in the final drop position.
Just as I was getting home Wolves scored again which pushed Birmingham back into the bottom 3 then a few minutes later another Tottenham goal made sure.
Elsewhere Man City secured 3rd place, Kenny Dalglish continued his 100% losing streak since signing a new contract, Arsenal scraped a point at Fulham, Newcastle blew a 3 goal lead at home to West Brom and then there was the Hammers :(
Probably our most embarrassing defeat of the season? the pressure was off Grant was gone they should have put on a good display to end the year but losing to a crap Sunderland side 3-0 at home is just a total disgrace.

I've just read that the Chelsea manager's position is now up for grabs so if anyone sees Avram Grant near Stamford Bridge you know what to do :)

Fever Pitch And The 1988-89 Season

I picked up a copy of Fever Pitch at a boot sale recently for 10p (one of those ones they give away with the Sun) and despite the fact that I have never have or will be an Arseanl fan it brought back some great memories of "that" match, the league decider between Liverpool and Arsenal in May 1989.
I remember the week well Arsenal had managed to blow the lead in the championship and if Liverpool could beat West Ham on the Tuesday night they would go top by 3 points, if West ham had managed an unlikely win we would have stayed up.
As it turned out it was a disaster and 3 goals in the last 10 minutes gave Liverpool a undeserved 5-1 win leading to our relegation and the unfair sacking of long serving manager John Lyall (which was the beginning of West Ham joining all the other teams who sacked managers on a regular basis).
That 5-1 win also meant that the Friday night decider would need Arsenal to win 2-0 at Anfield to overtake Liverpool.
1989 was of course the season of the Hillsborough tragedy so a lot of people were hoping for a league and cup double for Liverpool, they had won the cup the week before.
I have a long standing dislike of Liverpool so I was happy to cheer on the Gooners for this one, and as the match turned out it was one of the greatest matches ever.
Liverpool's style at the time was usually to pass the ball around the back four then kick it back to the goalie for most of the match (the backpass rule didn't exist at the time) and when the other team had fallen asleep they would hit them on the break, so the chances of Arsenal winning by 2 were slim.
Arsenal pressed them for most of the match never allowing them to settle on the ball, impressive tactics by George Graham.
Alan Smith put Arsenal in front midway through the second half but as 90 minutes came up it looked Liverpool had done enough then in the last minute of injury time Arsenal broke and Michael Thomas grabbed the second goal, brilliant stuff.
The film captures that moment brilliantly, I've been at West Ham matches where we've snatched a last minute winner and that feeling of it's like slow motion and you hold your breath as the ball goes over the line.

Interesting to look at the league table for that season, these were the days when leagues had sensible names like division 1 to 4.
Luton and Wimbledon were in the first division which was funny considering they played in the conference play off yesterday (yeah I know it's a different Wimbledon).
Only 8 of this seasons Premier league teams were in the top division then -
1 Arsenal 2 Liverpool 6 Tottenham 8 Everton 11 Manchester United 17 Aston Villa 19 West Ham United 20 Newcastle United.
Chelsea, Man City, Blackburn, West Brom, Sunderland, Stoke and Birmingham were all in division 2.
Wolves, Fulham, Bolton, Wigan and Blackpool were in Division 3

Predictions (Week 36)

The Final predictions competition .... ever.
They think it's all over ... it is now!!

A few things still to be settled, 3rd place between Man City and Arsenal, the unwanted 5th spot between the Spuds and Liverpool and of course 2 more relegation spots up for grabs between Blackburn, Wolves, Birmingham, Blackpool and Wigan.

If these predictions are correct (unlikely) then it's goodbye to Blackpool and Birmingham.
The Wolves v Blackburn game should be the big match but if Man U and Tottenham are professional it won't matter although both of those have reasons to field weakened teams, Man U already have the Premier league in the bag and won't want to risk any injuries before next weeks Gary Neville testimonial (and next Saturday's game), Tottenham had stated they didn't really want the Europa league spot although 'arry has changed his mind again this week.

3rd spot this year means not having to risk a tricky qualifying game so both City and Arseanal will hope for that, City should scrape it as they travel to neighbours Bolton who seem to be already on their summer holidays, where Wenger's lot go to Fulham who could still finish 7th which isn't bad for a team who have struggled a bit this season.

Aston Villa v Liverpool 1-1
Bolton v Man City 1-2
Everton v Chelsea 1-1
Fulham v Arsenal 2-2
Man Utd v Blackpool 4-0
Newcastle v West Brom 2-2
Stoke v Wigan 1-3
Tottenham v Birmingham 2-0
West Ham v Sunderland 3-0
Wolves v Blackburn 3-2

Good Sign?

That's nice the Villa fans have displayed this flag of Martin O'Neill in West Ham colours :)
Hope they are right, although O'Neill will probably have other things on his mind this week with a tribunal starting on Thursday over his leaving Villa Park.

You Gotta Laugh

Alright I've heard a ton of jokes this week all very predictable :(
This one made me laugh though -

Anyone had any luck with their tickets for Olympic stadium ??
I did, I got 55,000 tickets for West Ham v Doncaster.

Can't Keep A Good Man Down :)

Anyone Fancy A Managers Job?

I'd forgotten how many so called "experienced managers" were currently on the dole, mainly because they are a bunch of failures I guess.
Here are the latest favourites to take over from Avram Grant and take the poisoned chalice that is the West Ham managers job, once upon a time this could be viewed as a safe job but with the latest bunch of clowns running the show it could be a very short appointment.

Chris Hughton - Born in the area and played for us, very unlucky to be sacked by Newcastle and has the experience of the championship. Not my ideal choice but a lot better than most of the others on this list.

Steve McLaren - I think he's already ruled himself out, thank god :)

Malky MacKay - Current Watford manager, has not really done anything yet?

Martin O'Neill - Would be my choice but I doubt he'd want the job after the January fiasco.

Neil Warnock - You must be joking?

Kevin Keen - Liked him as a player but not really made a case for taking the bigger job, unless we stick ten past Sunderland next week :)

Gus Poyet - Can't see him leaving Brighton yet.

Sam Allardyce - Good manager but not suited to us.

Paulo Di Canio - Hammers legend but no managerial experience, would inspire but I doubt he'd have the knowledge or temprement?

Roberto Di Matteo - No more Chelsea rejects please.

Roy Keane - Great player, crap manager.

Martin Jol - If everyone else turned us down I'd take him, the Spuds connection bothers me.

Paul Lambert - The new Alex Ferguson, would be mad to leave Norwich.

Alan Curbishley - It was wrong the first time round, please don't go there again.

Slaven Bilic - Another former Hammer and big success with Croatia, a lack of club experience though and still the Croatian manager.

Ray Wilkins - Someone's having a laugh putting him on the list.

Wally Downes - Not sure he'll keep the coach job let alone be upgraded?

Julian Dicks - Another Hammer legend and has actually stated he wants the job, hasn't been much of a success at his current job managing Grays Athletic so managing West Ham is way beyond him.

Have seen many others listed and talked about but they just aren't worth a mention, can't believe Paul Ince would want to be anywhere near Upton Park but he did say last season he fancied returning as manager? even Avram would be more popular :)